In what American fiction literary buffs are calling “a monumental addition to American fiction, just a real treat for us American fiction literary buffs”, Long Dong Press INC. has amended three new pages to Melville’s classic.
The three pages were previously omitted because of the rampancy of American Puritanism. Now, after almost fifty years of fighting, Long Dong INC. has one the right to reintroduce the novel in it’s true and intended form.
The well known ending of the novel, the obsessed Captain Ahab is dragged into the sea because he’s tied to the great white whale. But, as newly revealed, the intended ending is quite different.
Well known artist Hoshi Murakami has submitted a rendering of the new ending that will appear along with the new printing of the book.
The Met was lucky to acquire these two portraits for their upcoming show entitled “Historical Blowjobs”.
Met spokesman, and head of acquisitions Tommy Nutsticles said “It took nearly three years to acquire these portraits done by Raphael.”
Both portraits depict the seldom heard of 11th Commandment – “Thou Shall Giveth and Receiveth Oral”
Religious groups and fine arts heads both praising Nustsicles efforts to show these works.
Continuing on with yesterday’s post, we have another historical portrait. This one was done by Colbert in the late 1800′s. Notice the realism that Colbert uses in depicting the stoicism of Darwin, and the immensity of his boner.
The portrait will be on display at the Met starting in May.
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Starting in May, the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art will feature a new series of paintings that depict historical blowjobs.
Curator Thomas Boner said, “We’re extremely happy to have compiled this show. Traditionally, the public has not been exposed to what we here consider to be the truest of all historical painting – the blowjob, and it’s role in history, how it shaped history, informed it. We hope to bring to light a hugely popular portrait movement that has been largely ignored by art historians and art institutions.”